Tuesday, September 14, 2004

100 things: a saga 14 months in the making

I'm incapable of counting this list correctly so if anyone notices me getting near the hundred mark please let me know. Otherwise I might not stop and, lets face it, 100things about me is as much as anyone needs..

*NOTE* New! Improved! Now with numbers!

**NOTE 2** Finally finished! Wheee!

1. I'm a book pusher, you can expect to be taking home at least one book if you visit my place.

2. I like to have a dishtowel in my back pocket whenever in the kitchen. Partly because it's useful, but also partly because I like to look like I've got a tail.

3. I hate tv advertising with an (un)holy passion.

4. I am addicted to computer games. Not the wee shoot-'em-ups or arcade games or stuff but the obscenely long and involved world/galactic domination/trading games. I'm currently in control of my addiction.

5. Sleep is my enemy.

6. I love easily and don't fall out of love without a lot of pushing. One of my best qualities perhaps but it also makes for infinite problems.

7. I've never had a serious injury, the only bones I've ever broken have been ribs, toes and fingers.

8. I'm a black belt in karate, something that I am proud of but find it difficult to explain in a way that doesn't sound wanky. So I usually play it down.

9. I love books. Both my folks were librarians so there may be a genetic component there.

10. Heavy breathers piss me off, especially in movie theatres.

11. People who sniff constantly in bookshops should be shot. Or at least given tissues. No, I think I was right the first time.

12. People who scuff their feet when they walk should have their feet confiscated. And shoved up their arses.

13. Yes, I'm easily irritated. So?

14. I am a pinko lefty and tend more towards the anarchist side.

15. I find humour in most things, even (or perhaps especially) the stupid things I do. I love to laugh.

16. I'll always cross the road to make friends with a cat.

17. I have 7 piercings at the moment: six in my ears, one in my left nipple. I want at least two tattoos.

18. I'll always remember where I was when Princess Di died. For reasons totally unrelated to her.

19. I hate washing dishes.

20. My favourite brush with fame was almost running down Bruno Lawrence on my mountain bike. Actually, he died soon after. The two things are probably unrelated...

21. I have a degree in Zoology, majoring in marine ecology. If I was to do it again I might do an English degree but the fact is I'd probably switch to zoology again anyway.

22. The day doesn't start without coffee.

23. I'm one of those weirdos that you see scribbling into a notebook as they walk down the street. Then walks into a lamppost. True story.

24. I have been very careless with friends in the past. Something I'll regret forever.

25. I was born in Vancouver, Canada, but we moved to New Zealand when I was quite young. I consider myself a Kiwi now, although patriotism/nationalism irritates me. Edit: Living in Australia makes me happier to identify as a New Zealander.

26. I have a reputation that far exceeds my real life. Dammit. Oh how I wish I'd done some of the things that are attributed to me..

27. Some of the things I have done in the past I have no proof of and, since the people who were there at the times are dead, no-one can corroborate the stories.

28. A few of the things I have done I am ashamed of. Properly, I feel.

29. I have a black sense of humour, not so much in the jokes I tell (those can be encapsulated in the word "corny"), but the humour I appreciate & laugh at. The darker the comedy the better.

30. I also love the absurd and surreal.

31. I am a very sardonic, sarcastic person. Not in a particularly caustic way, I'm just a generally ironic and somewhat mocking person. I take it pretty well in return though.

32. I have a hairy chest. But not a hairy back, as yet..

33. Musically, I have very wide tastes. Mainly I love reggae, indie rawk, hip hop, and electronica (downbeat mostly), but I can listen to and like nearly anything. Except opera.

34. I can't do joined-up writing like an adult should. I mean, I learnt like everyone else did but I've forgotten how..

35. My schooling was pretty checkered - I went to 3 high schools:
*The first, Christchurch Boys High, did not agree with me at all. I have practically no memories of my year and a half there, my mind has blanked that time out.
*The second was Rudolf Steiner where I began to grow a personality back, but my folks wanted to shift me back to the State schooling system so I was only there for another year and a half.
*The rest of the time was spent at Hagley High and was fairly 'normal'. By which I mean a large amount of smoking pot, under-age drinking, reckless driving, yahooish behaviour, and trying to shag .. well, pretty well anything (and, by-and-large, failing dismally). I somehow managed to pick up an education along the way.

36. I do not plan on ever having children. I don't hate 'em, just don't want any of my own.

37. I don't use my right hand like everyone else.

38. I have three passports but have never really made much use of them. My brother is the traveler, I like to live places long term.

39. I view the words "odd" "freak" "weirdo" and "strange" as generally complimentary.

40. Violence is totally justified if it happens to the right people. And I'll decide who they are thank you very much.

41. My favourite article of clothing is my beloved leather jacket that I'll wear in nearly all weather from snow to heat wave. It's not a particularly hip jacket style-wise, but that kinda suits me too.

42. I like living with strangers.

43. I wish I had a soundtrack to my life. And it was composed and performed by Neil Young, Lee "Scratch" Perry, Beth Orton and Mark Sandman. Guest vocals by Tom Waits and Beth Gibbon.

44. I'm a generalist, I know a little about a lot of things. I have a very broad knowledge base, and enough intuition to understand that that doesn't equate to great intelligence. But hey, I'm smart enough to chew gum & walk simultaneously (most days), it'll do.

45. "Style" and "fashion" are things that happen to other people. I can be best described as "scruffy", "casual" and "unkempt".

46. I don't like things pointing at me, even going to the extent of turning pens on my desk so they lie crossways.

47. I love movies. Love them with a passion. Love the cinema. The act of going and sitting in a huge room designed for watching movies.. On the other hand I'm almost completely incapable of watching vids/dvds.

48. I am crap at parallel parking.. (sorry about your hubcap Eroica)

49. I swear too much.

50. I have a memory like a sieve. Legacy of a drug filled youth or just laziness I'm not sure.

51. I don't instinctively know my left from right. Or more precisely I can't apply the words reflexively, like when navigating a car I'll often be waving my hand right but saying "le- uh.. rr.. that way!" I do know which is which. Really.

52. I also have difficulties with the months of the year and their corresponding numbers, usually having to count from January on my fingers.

53. It bothers me to use "I" a lot when writing/typing. I often think it looks conceited and self-aggrandising. I'm far too self-effacing. This is all about me after all. Me! Me! Me! Me! Just practicing.

54. Arrogance annoys me a lot. There's a difference between self-confidence and gratuitous ego-stroking.

55. I can open beer bottles with a lighter. Which would be of more use if I smoked and therefore had a lighter.

56. I am congenitally late for everything and have an almost preternatural ability to miss buses.

57. I love skydiving.

58. I often figure things out as I'm trying to explain them to other people. Which is one reason for my meandering talking/writing style.

59. The other is my total inability to stick to a conversation topic.

60. I saw a ghost once.

61. I don't believe in ghosts.

62. I'm also not religious at all. Nor am I 'spiritual', in fact that sh*t pisses me off more than organised religion sometimes.

63. I'm shortsighted an wear glasses/contact lenses. I've considered getting laser eye surgery but the whole idea gives me the heebie-jeebies.

64. I'm probably repeating myself in this list but can't be arsed re-reading it.

65. I'm an apostrophe pedant but have to admit to getting it wrong myself sometimes.

66. Spelling errors on the internet annoy me - I mean, how many spell checkers are there out there? Use one! Or buy a bloody dictionary.

67. Christ I must come across as a grumpy old coot.

68. Yes, I'm aware some of these aren't "things about me". Bite me.

69. I hate being the centre of attention in a group.

70. I never forgive myself.

75. I can raise my left eyebrow and do so often. I also have a tendency to waggle it in a mock-saucy way. Or do Spock impersonations.

76. I can sing, something I discovered when I did a 'singing-for-the-shower' workshop a couple of years ago. I don't sing in public though.

77. People who sing along to music annoy the hell out of me - unless it's in the car or at a *loud* gig. If you really think you can sing it better than the artist why don't you make your own recording? Sheesh.

78. I love maps and atlases, especially ones showing geological history. And old maps - y'know, the ones with "here be dragons" sorts of things.

79. I spend a lot of time in my own mind, probably too much. Introspection isn't any fun for me, I find too much I don't like.

80. On the other hand I'm liking myself more & more as I get older. Hopefully I'll be well sorted out just in time to die *s*

81. Mangos are my favourite fruit.

82. I broke my left thumb when I was a teenager and it never really healed properly so it’s a bit wonky.

83. I’m afraid of deep water.

84. I’m also scared of heights, enclosed spaces and spiders. On the other hand I like snakes and bugs. As long as I know where they are.

85. I’m very much in favour of drugs. I realize recreational psychoactives aren’t good for some people but on the other hand the mind is an extraordinary organ and the occasional prodding with a tab of acid can be a truly monumental experience.

86. I don’t do drugs much anymore. Mostly because of the hangovers, they get longer and longer as your metabolism slows and your liver loses it’s youthful pink hue.

87. I have the worst handwriting of anyone I know.

88. One of my favourite memories from childhood is of lying on top of our neighbour’s garage in summer watching money spiders scurrying about.

89. I have a terrible memory for names.

90. I’m a completeness and chronological order freak when it comes to books, movies and TV shows. I gave up on The Sopranos because I missed half of season three. On the other hand: I didn’t see the last of the Star Wars movies. It doesn’t bother me.

91. Why are the noisiest eaters always the slowest?

92. Over the course of my flatting life I’ve managed to live with upwards of 50 people. If you’ve read ‘He Died With A Falafel In His Hand’ it was like that, only in Christchurch mostly and with fewer cockroaches. And possibly more drugs.

93. I don’t have any great burning ambitions that might drive me to achieve great (or terrible) things. I’d like a quiet life, good friends, purring cats. I don’t ask for much. Although I’d like to be able to kick my Sensei in the head…

94. I HATE malls. Passionately.

95. Further to my loving books entry: I’m usually reading several books at once. I like to have a number of them on the go at once so I’ve always got something that matches my mood at the time.

96. I don’t, on the whole ‘get’ poetry. There are only a few poems that I love, but those ones I absolutely adore.

97. I’m one of those people that can listen to the same song 15 times in a row if I’m in love with it.

98. In fact there are some songs that I can listen to just a particular section from over & over. I never do this when anyone else can hear it: people might think I’m crazy…

99. I’m haunted by the feeling I’ve failed my parents. But hey, they’re not dead yet so I’m sure I’ll continue to fail them for a quite few more years.

100. I’m pretty much an introvert and I have great difficulty revealing myself in this way. As you can tell from the fact this has taken over a year to complete. I hope I never have to do one of these things again.